Offbeats Ear Protection Initiative
Offbeats – A brand you can trust. Fine Earplugs since 2015.
EPA (Environmental Production Agency) Ordered Action
This morning the new Supreme Leaders Court (which acted in advance of the new justice being anointed to power) insisted via Twitter Post Edict (TPE) that Offbeats need to provide FREE Earplugs in order to play their FREE upcoming show in Hayward at the Bistro and to avoid further fines, penalties, and emotional damage. Now that mobile phone ear buds have taken over the noxious job of creating ear damage, Offbeats no longer need to lead the way in destroying ear drums on such a large scale basis. Tim Boomer, deaf bassist for Offbeats and former bassist for Who Too, who held the record in the Guiness Draft Ale Book of Records for destroying more ears in Northern California and Nevada in 2014 than any other bassist for a Who tribute band was quoted as saying “Huh? What did you say?”
The NEA (Nathional Earplug Association) spokesmodel who will not be named said “You can pry my earplugs out of my dead ears but you will never get me to put my rock and ska down!” An unnamed Offbeats fan countered by saying “Whaaaat? Did you say something?”
To claim your right to pick up YOUR earplugs and defend yourself …..
Come see and hear us LIVE and tell us what you think!
The Bistro – 1001 B Street. Hayward California. September 22nd 9pm to 12am. FREE.